NEWS FLASH.... ITS OVER

So I just got out of a break-up and trust me the details of the break-up is not entirely one I would want to bore you with. But this one came as a shock and pretty unexpected. It felt as though I have never been in a relationship before, nor had a break-up before. I still question myself constantly why in God's name is this one different? And why does this one hurts deeper than expected?

Are you going through a break-up from a person or a period of distancing yourself from an event or a place due to reasons beyond your control? Does it feel like a dream, where all you want is someone to wake you up to the reality where all is normal? Do you feel you could turn back the hands of time and wished you had done things differently? Do you entirely blame yourself for all that went wrong? Or do you think you hate the person that you entirely blame the person yet you can't seem to let go of the person despite the wrong? Or do you just feel confused and seem to hold on to what doesn't seem to exist anymore?

NEWS FLASH... IT'S OVER!!!

I have over time realized that no amount of blame, thinking, tears, depression, plea (where applicable) would bring back the old status of things or return it to the status quo. It's just the reality, its over.

How then do I move on from the memories, the guilt, or the feeling?

1. ACCEPT THE REALITY: "I couldn't just accept it, it had got to be a dream, I am sure that we will patch things up real quick". This line and much more is what a lot of us tell ourselves and we keep living in the illusion of the dream that would not manifest. Its about time we accept the reality, and not the reality of what we tell ourselves but the reality of what it is. It is OVER,  accept it and move on.

2. ALLOW THE GRIEVE: society has a way of demanding strength from us with little or no help to giving the strength needed. A lot of us feel grieving is not a part of living, we feel we are not entitled to feel the way we feel. We wallow inside all for a show-off of strength that does not exist. Announcement! you are free to feel the grieve, that relationship or place created the best moments of your life yet, so please feel free to grieve about it. But don't just grieve for the sake of grieving, grieve with the intent of letting go of the pain.

3. LET GO OF THE MEMORIES: A lot of the time we hang on to the beautiful memories created while with the person, and we feel it is the best memory yet. When it ended, it felt like the best part of our lives just came to a halt. We feel a great sense of connection to those memories, as it takes us back to the moments we felt human and felt entirely good about ourselves. but it's about time to let go of the memories. It was beautiful while it lasted, but that is all it will ever be... Memories. It will only keep you in the past. 

4. FORGIVE YOURSELF: I have realized that we hold on to the pains not with hatred for the other party, but with a lot of blame for ourselves. Many times I had said I am the major reason why we broke up, reminiscing about things I could have done better, and I am sure a lot of people do the same. It's about time to forgive yourself and let it go. Learn from the lessons it taught you so that you don't take the same behaviour into the new relationship, but most importantly, let it go. Be grateful for the time together but don't kill yourself for the mistakes you made. Now you know better, and you are better off for it. Remind yourself, you are UNIQUE in your own WAY. 

5. FORGIVE THE OTHER PARTY: As much as you blame yourself, the other party has the same level of input in it. It takes two to tangle, which means you both offended each other. It might not be the same degree or proportion. But both parties are at fault. Accept it and forgive... The best peace is felt when we release others from our hearts. Forgive, let go so that someone else can fill the vacuum successfully. 

6. DREAM AGAIN: So you stopped dreaming because you had that special person. your whole life practically stopped with the intrusion of that person, and it seems like all your prayers had been answered before the devil struck and it ends in a flash. Rather than let it go you hang on to the memories. Now its time to dream again, believe you can find love again. Your dreams are clearer, it is more defined, its shaped by what you want and what you don't want. Darling, please dream again.

7. MOVE ON: Moving on cant be overstressed. The other party has moved on, don't hang in there praying for a miracle. Rather move on to be the best you can dream of. It's your right and you deserve all the happiness and peace in the world. It didn't work, forgive yourself and move on.

The end of a relationship is not the end of life. Remember a closed door is an opportunity for the opening of another door. Love on yourself on your way to finding new love.

XOXO
Sholly Luv